Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Dante's Advice.

"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." Dante was not offering this as a warning but more as advice, specifically, advice on how to endure damnation. As much as it is possible to persist in hell, the only real way to do so is to give up hope. By acquiescing to fate, you acknowledge the truth and extinguish a belief in the impossible, i.e. salvation. In the face of certainty, hope is truly a terrible thing.

I have been a slave to hope for most of my life. I once envisioned a future where things went according to a fabricated master-plan. They were plans that would seem poorly conceived to others, for my imagined world was somewhat removed from the norm. I've never been able to picture myself having a wife or family, so I imagined a home with myself and a veritable zoo of pets. Dogs, rabbits, cockatiels, ferrets, hell I even imagined having a wallaby. I'd go to work doing something cool in the field of neuroscience, and come home to my animal friends. I actually never included other people in this plan outside of those that I would encounter at work or in passing. But it didn't matter, because I'd have all I that I needed or wanted.

As I grew older, the plan fell apart piece by piece until nothing of the original remained. I would unsuccessfully try to reassemble the pieces or start over from scratch, but no plan ever took hold. All pathways forward led off cliffs. Yet I kept hoping. And hope has nearly destroyed me.

I believe the universe is fated, that given a full understanding of the fundamental principles of physics and related sciences, it is theoretically possible to predict the outcome of any and all events. Free will does not exist, and people perceive their reactions to internal and external environmental stimuli as being under their own volition. The game is fixed, so wishing for a different outcome is irrational and delusional. In other words, to hope is to argue against the enormity of the universe. Sometimes the direction of fate and a persons own ambitions converge; you hoped for something, it happened to play out as you wanted, you were happy. More often though, a person wishes for a particular thing, love, money, fame, whatever, and the  universe spits in his face. And so you're disappointed. And it happens again, and again you're disappointed. And again. And again. Eventually the disappointment compounds itself into misery. To reiterate: from hope springs misery. Expectations are the enemy of contentment; if you never expect anything good to happen, you cannot be disappointed, and may even be pleasantly surprised when things turn out in your favor.

All of this brings me to the point that I must strive to forgo wishing for anything, either good or bad. I must plan for no future, because plans are themselves a form of hope. I must allow the universe to unfold before me and remain ready to react to the circumstances I may find myself in while feeling nothing towards the ultimate outcome. In order for me to survive, I must abandon all hope. If I were to find myself in hell tomorrow (a very unlikely scenario, given that I'm an atheist), I wouldn't need to change a thing.

1 comment:

  1. I understand where you're coming from,more than you know. But I refuse to give up hope. Without hope where am I?

    ReplyDelete