Always.

“My mom took me to the doctor today.”

“Why? You sick? Man, stay away from me. I don’t wanna catch nothin’.”

“Not that kind of doctor, dumb-ass. A psycho-doctor. You know, for when your head's messed up.”

“Your mom think you crazy?”

“I don’t know, maybe. I think she goes for herself more than anything.”

“She crazy?”

“Shut up.”

“Just askin’. Sorry. So?”

“So what?”

“What the psycho-doc say?”

“Nothing really. He just asked me a bunch a questions, mainly about how I was feeling. If I was sad and stuff.”

“What’d you tell ‘em?”

“I told him what he wanted to hear, what everyone expects to hear. ‘I feel really bad about what happened, and it’s all my fault, but it was still an accident.’ That kind of thing.”

“True ‘nuff.”

“Of course it’s true. Except I don’t feel that bad about it. Everybody acts like something big happened. I mean it was big and all, but what changed?”

“Not much.”

“Right. You and me still friends, just like before.”

“Just like always.”

“Shoot! That’s my mom calling me. I got go Danny. You be around tomorrow?”

“Fo’ sho’.”

-------------

Kyle pried the screen door open, slipped inside the back of the house, and caught the door before it slammed shut. It didn’t matter; she heard him anyway.

“Kyle, where the hell have you been! I’ve been yelling for you the past 10 minutes,” his mom continued to yell. “I thought I told you not to leave the backyard.”

“I know. I was just... I was just out walking around.” He was trying hard not to play with his hands. That was aways a give away that he was lying. In hopes to avoid any more questions, he turned defiant, “Maybe if you hadn’t taken away my cell phone, I could have got the message sooner!”

“Fine,” His mother replied with exasperated defeat. “Fine, you can have your phone back. Don’t see what that had to with it anyway.”

Kyle was confused. Did he just win an argument against his own mom? He wasn’t sure what to say so he said it tentatively, “Thanks. It’s just that...”

“What? It’s just that what?” his mom prodded.

“Nothing. I mean, it was an accident, and Danny says...”

“Enough with Danny! Damn it Kyle, we just went through this with Dr. Morgan! You can’t be seeing Danny anymore. You’ve got to stop.” His mom was pleading with tears in her eyes. It hurt her to see her son so detached.

“Why?” Kyle wasn’t angry; he really wanted to know why he couldn’t be friends with Danny anymore. He was his best friend in the whole universe, and Danny wasn’t all that bad. Sure he did some stupid stuff, and he cursed a lot, but so what?

“Besides,” Kyle thought to himself, “I was the one who did it. Danny was just standing there.”

His mom couldn’t take his innocence. “Just go to your room Kyle. I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”

She waited until Kyle closed his door and the light that had been spilling from his room into the hallway vanished. Then she broke down into sobs.

--------

“My mom says that I can’t be friends with you anymore.”

“Cuz why?”

“She’s just listening to what the psycho-doc tells her. He says that ‘it’s not healthy.’”

“What the hell that mean?”

“He says that I’ve got to move on past the whole accident thing and you’re a ‘deception.’”

“I still dunno what that means. He think I’m trying to mess with you?”

“He says that I only talk to you because I feel bad about what happened.”

“I told you, it ain’t your fault. I ain’t mad. Why should you feel bad? Aw damn, here come my mamma! Don’t tell her you seen me. She be pissed that I ain’t been cuttin’ the grass.”

----------------

“Hi Miss Leroy,” Kyle mumbled out.

“Oh, Kyle. You scared me.” But she said it so flatly she didn’t sound like she was scared. It didn’t sound like she was anything. “Why are you sitting on my porch? Shouldn’t you be in school?”

“It’s Saturday and it’s at night, Miss Leroy,” Kyle responded patiently. Adults were always forgetting things.

“Saturday. Right.” She sounded like she was floating, like talking from a cloud. “Why don’t you head back over to your house, okay?”

“Yes, Miss Leroy. Miss Leroy? You want me to mow your yard for you?”

“No, that’s Danny’s job. Never you mind.”

“Okay. Goodnight Miss Leroy.”

--------------

“Mrs. Jackson, with your permission I’d like to try hypnosis on Kyle to see if it helps. Are you aware of hypnosis?” Dr. Morgan tried to avoid sounding condescending, but he could never quite get out a statement without slipping in some kind of mildly insulting question.

“Yes, I know a little bit about it.” Kyle’s mom actually knew more than she let on, but deferred to the doctor anyway. “If you think it will help then I’m okay with it.”

“Excellent. I’ll need to see Kyle by himself, so could you go to the waiting area and send him in? Can you find your way?”

Kyle’s mom just nodded. He really did think everyone was an idiot, didn’t he?

----------------

With practiced ease, Dr. Morgan brought Kyle to a restful state of consciousness and began trying to untangle the poor boy’s mind.

“Kyle, I want you describe to me what happened that day. Not the whole day, just around the time of the accident. Tell me what you saw and what you did. Who was there with you?”

“It was just me and Danny.”

“Okay, what were you and Danny doing?”

“We were playing Xcom.”

“Is that a video game?”

“Yes. You try to save the world from aliens, but I didn’t like it very much.”

“Okay. What happened after you were done playing?”

“I said that I was bored, and Danny asked me what I would do if aliens really tried to take over the world.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him that I would just run, because the aliens would probably have a lot of weapons and would kill anyone who tried fighting them.”

“And then?”

“Then Danny said, ‘I show you what I do if them motherfucker aliens come here.’ And then he runs to his Mom’s room.”

“Did you follow him?”

“No, he came right back carrying a shoebox.”

“And what was in the shoebox?”

“A big gun. Danny took it out and pointed it right at me and goes, “I’d shoot them aliens right in the head. Boom!’ I was scared because he was pointing it at my head when he said that.”

“What happened next?”

“I wanted him to stop pointing it at me, so I asked if I could hold it. He gave it to me, and it jumped out of my hands.”

“Do you mean it went off?”

“Yeah, but I don’t remember hearing it. It smelled weird though, like smoke but different. I picked up the gun, and when I looked back up, Danny was just standing there like he was trying to say something. He was kind of rocking back on his feet, and holding his chest, and then the blood started coming out between his fingers. Oh Shit! Danny is bleeding bad! He’s coughing now and it’s coming out his mouth. He’s fallen backwards, and I try to catch him, but I missed and he lands on his head. Oh shit! Somebody do something! Somebody help Danny! God, there’s so much blood. It’s all over the carpet! Help me!”

“Okay, it’s okay Kyle, you’re away from all that now. The ambulance comes and gets Danny. They take him away. Do you know where Danny went?”

“They took him to the hospital, and the doctors fixed him.”

“They did take him to the hospital, but why do you think the doctors fixed Danny?”

“Because, I saw him the next day, and he showed me his scar. He told me it didn’t even hurt, but I didn’t believe him.”

“And are you still friends with Danny?”

“Yes, he’s not mad at me. He told me it was an accident, and I shouldn’t feel bad.”

“Do you feel bad about what happened?”

“Yes, but Danny forgives me, so it’s okay. Everything’s okay.”

“Alright Kyle, that’s enough for now. I’m going to bring you back slowly...”

-------------

“Man, where you been?”

“No where. I had to get my mom to think that I wasn’t seeing you anymore. She thinks that you're gone, so it’s cool now.”

“I thought you’d moved or somethin’. That you just ditched me. You coulda told me that you was goin’ away.”

“I’m sorry. I just couldn’t. You mad at me?”

“Nah, not really. I’m just messin’ with ya. We best friends. Right?”

“Always.”