Conversation on a Story.

“You know that no one is going to want to read this.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s depressing. People have an easy enough time feeling like crap as it is. They don’t need some sob-story where everyone dies to make them feel worse.”

“Not everyone dies.”

“Oh, that’s right you left the grief-stricken father alive in the woods. Naked. How long do think he’ll last out there? Jesus, you even killed off the dog.”

“It advances the plot.”

“What plot? All I see is a series of tragic happenings culminating in misery. How can there be any character development when all the characters die within two sentences of introducing them?”

“The story isn’t character driven.”

“You got that right, but whatever is driving it took it straight into the ground. Why didn’t you just...”

“Hold on, I need to answer this. You mind?”

“Fine, I’ll be in my office.”

--

“So who was it?”

“Tim Burton.”

“What? THE Tim Burton, as in ‘Beetlejuice’, ‘Edward Scissorhands,’ that Tim Burton?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, what did he want?”

“He wants to make my story into a movie.”

“What? You sent him a copy?”

“Yeah. He said he loved it, thought it was hilarious.”

“You can’t be serious. Really?”

“He’s already got Johnny Depp cast as the father.”

“Holy crap! Man, that guy is seriously messed up.”

“Johnny Depp?”

“No, Tim Burton. The guy can find humor at a funeral.”

“What if it’s a clown funeral?”

“What the hell are you talking about? Clown funeral?”

“Yeah, what if there’s this group of clowns that were on plane and... Oh man, I got to write this down. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Great, glad to be of service. That figures. Weirdo is probably gonna hear from Spielberg next.”